July 1, 2015
Hey all, it’s Lex. Here’s a bit of an update as to what’s going on with me.
It’s been a recent resolution of mine to focus more of my attention to shadowy places lately. After significant burnout at the turn of the year I decided to take a bit of a hiatus from the grueling tedium of “gigging” here in Austin – in other words, hauling my gear all over town and paying out of pocket most times to play to relatively empty rooms despite all the time and energy and money I would spend to promote and prepare for each event. Finding that my new lack of enjoyment of listening to, performing, and practicing music was really starting to make me reassess just what was going on with me, for lack of a better word, spiritually, I felt like I needed to take a bit of a break.
During the past few slow/“down” months I decided I’d like to do less of this running-around-not-accomplishing-anything locally and focus a bit more on reconnecting with you guys all across the country (and around the world) – my core fans. In order to do this I plan to become more active on social media again and try to get out blogs and videos to you more regularly. I hope you’ll enjoy them and continue to follow me and grow with me.
2015 has been an interesting if not altogether exciting year so far. While 2014 was the year I finally recorded my third album, it was not, of course, the year I finished said album. I’ve hit just about every bump in the road you can with putting together an independent album on a shoestring budget and it hasn’t been pretty. Fortunately, in April I was finally able to set aside enough time to get through hacking it out and editing the damned thing. The record, which I’ve been calling “It Will Reveal Itself,” is very close to finished – a few days of vocal sessions and the tracking will be complete. After that it is a bit out of my hands, so in the meantime I’ll be providing whatever I can here, on YouTube, and through other avenues to sustain you until it does see the light of day.
There has been a lot of growing and maturing for me over the last year: I’m finally not a permanent pedestrian as I was able to acquire an old van to tool around in; my bank account has typically more than $3.24 in it (not by much though yet), which is relatively new; I started a clean eating journey last summer which has shed about 30 pounds from me so far; I recently got a new “day job” which is, though still retail, actually intellectually stimulating, in which I get to use and hone some of my skills, and where the building is not infested with beetles, roaches, and crickets – so there’s a win; I have my first-ever own living space in my own name with no roommates (other than my incredible and hunky drummer boyfriend of almost a couple years now); and I of course still have my sweet adorable mischievous border collie Bessie, who just turned five this year. There have also been some not-great moments into which I shan’t delve here, but overall things are very slowly looking up for me, which, for fear of sounding self-piteous, my super-emo depressive self of just a few years ago did not expect nor even dared to hope for, in truth.
I missed my ten-year high school reunion this past Saturday which I think would’ve devastated an 18-year-old Lex more than it did the 28-year-old Lex. I didn’t need to go to my reunion to feel the gravity of aging and life passing too quickly, I hear it in phone calls and see it everyday in my news feed on Facebook. People I was in love with once have all recently been marrying, having babies, dying. My adolescent heart was so set on this idea of “someday”… of “forever”… of “eventually”… There was fate, there was destiny, I had a purpose, it was all laid out. Funny how I only conceived of that as being a few years ahead of where I was. On the other end of our ten-year reunion, it’s easy to see how everything moves much faster than it used to, and that nothing is final. My eventually, my forever, my someday, is now, and will continue to be. It unfolds ceaselessly. Realizing this is the last little dying ember of that spark of adolescence glittering as it falls to a wet ground.
While I’ve enjoyed my time in Austin I’ve felt a pretty serious bout of sickness and nostalgia for my home coast. I’d like to relocate to get a bit closer to more loved ones, family and close friends, however I am deep within the clutches of the “velvet coffin” of this lovely little patch of Texas. It’s been my home more than California ever was in my youth, and perhaps it’s partly due to that that I yearn to leave it. Coming home to the Pacific is in my future, certainly, though it may be a ways off yet.
While there is always a balance of bad and good, the last few years have bestowed so many blessings that I am struck with awe in trying to recollect and tell it all. You’ll hear a lot of it on the record – the amazing friends, collaborators, colleagues, and mentors who all took a little bit of time out of their lives to share their gifts with me, and with you, through my music.
Meanwhile, some new ideas are starting to shine through more holes in the black velvet – a couple musical side-projects are slowly underway and if you look hard enough on the internet you can find them. I’ve been arranging, co-writing, and co-producing music for a friend’s independent video game, which I’ll tell you as much about as I’m allowed. Additionally, my crafting streak has again taken its hold and you’ll find me an Etsy seller once more.
So – I’ve had this idea kicking around in my head for quite some time as a means of making a more regular thing of getting videos out to you guys, and I intend to finally start that in July – so starting this week I will be commencing a “Throwback Thursday” video series in which I will cover songs from dedicated decades throughout the month, each one posting on Thursday every week. Come back here to my blog for insight and reflection on each one.
With things turning over and with me visiting-more-shadowy-places, I was thinking about this upcoming 4th of July. Holidays are rough terrain for me as my childhood and early twenties have been frought with emotional turbulence. I had hoped perhaps to make a new great memory this year with Eduardo, but since he has a gig it looks like I’ll likely be at home crafting and maybe lighting a few sparklers in the parking lot when he returns just at the break of July 5th.
Since I’ll never have photos, the images flash through: sparklers in a Newport Beach park (my mom made me a special red-white-and-blue hair bow to wear that day); fireworks at the Mariposa fairgrounds; my dad’s raging 4th of July parties I would spend cruising, people-watching; tailgating and watching the “sky-bulbs” on tour with a night off in Richmond, hearing Sister Rosetta Tharpe for the first time; kissing a boy and singing Feist songs drunk with old high school buddies at a “our parents are out of town”-party a couple weeks before moving to Austin; singing “Part of Your World” to a room of close friends accompanied by the best pianist I’ve ever heard.
What does it make you think of?